It's tough keeping track of the days now. I hope I've gotten a few points across through my writing thus far. This internship is draining but worthwhile and I know that in the coming days my return to Massachusetts will be bitter sweet. I will do my best to keep you updated but much of my time now is spent with folks and self-thought. So here's a super cheesy thank you to those who've supported and stuck with me as well as those who keep me sane.

Its a rare day where I have the house to myself. I slept on the couch last night in front of the fire and i didnt mind it at all. Our dumpstering score from yesterday was just the happy event I needed to get to bed. Ideally I would have like to go hiking today but maybe I can do so tomorrow. So I'm taking this time to cook my chicken. We found BBQ sauce and a sealed can of Hooter's brand medium spicy wing sauce. So I'm gonna experiment and cook up the chicken i have.

I didn't end up using the hooters sauce, but Chynna helped me out and essentially baked my chicken for me. It tastes crisp and delicious but we have to wait for it to cool.

-90 min later- 8:45pm 1/14/2012
Dance Instructor Dan and his dumbass friend came over. After a few mixed drinks of whisky and dr. pepper he felt the need to chop some kindling. Dan took the top of his thumb off (only half inch at most) and proceded to lie down on the ground by the door. It was a scene of beautiful chaos. I walked quickly to get the freshest towel 40 house had and gave to him to apply. I then went to the freezer and found a small ice pack, I was already holding the thumb nub in the other towelled hand. I put it on ice and went over to Dan, on the ground. Understandably he was writhing a good amount. Super-doula Tara remained calm, elevating his feet as Chynna went to get the car. He is so damn lucky that we live 3 min from the local hospital. We were there in 2.

As an update, they couldn't reattach the tip. It'll take a few weeks to recover, but I hope that event was eye opening to more than just me. It made me so accutely aware that I can stay calm and focussed in such a potentially chaotic situation. Maybe its not so great that I've become desensitized to it. Tara's calming manner defineitley helped me. She took command, and proved how solid she is. I know thats experience that comes from her trips to Africa, in which death and dying, and the distance from real medical care is so vast. She's out to do great things in the world, and honestly I feel nourished by the energy she brings to her pursuits.

I want to kick so many things. My advisor got this new droid phone and because I fall into the generation younger than her I'm supposed to be an expert. I have no goddamn idea how to work this thing but let me just take time out of my day to post it. Why don't you just send it to facebook!? Half an hour of my life spent getting a picture from a phone to my email. I'M NOT GETTING PAID FOR THIS! I need some fresh air, I want to go for a run so badly. Nobody is meant to sit still for that long just staring at a screen. I have shit to do, things to plan, and that has very little to do with anti-bullying.

[two hours later]

so after the phone incident I left, went for a run fully realizing that i only had a t shirt and that it is below freezing. I'm feeling a bit cooped up. At least now I get to concentrate on sports and LGBT stuff specifically. I've listening to the United States of Tara while doing the rest of this work. I hate having six word documents open at the same time. Hopefully I'll do something fun tonight, maybe go dumpstering, or food shopping, or slowly start packing? who knows.

Today was painfully slow. Each time I'm forced to ride that bus I think about how lucky i am to afford the brand name ipod rather than still lugging around a CD player (i've seen 3 of them now, its haunting). I miss my friends up north but I'm enjoying my time down here too, the freedoms I have of my own room, my own schedule, the hours in which I ccan cook or make a fire. Yeah I sleep in a sleeping bag and my desk is the other half of this full sized mattress, but there's nice people and more often than not good food around. Some of my housemates can be elitist sons of bitches but who doesn't know at least one person with those qualities. At the heart of it Alexei will talk to Eli about his father issues. Carleigh and Chynna will be spiritual about how and what they eat. I love this house as a home away from home. They like me being here and I enjoy contributing how I can (pro dish-washer). Which makes coming home after a stressful day of internship that much nicer. Tis all for now. As much as I declared it, the post about Daniel may be a tad delayed only cause we essentially banned him from 40.

Just for Kicks if you're looking to live in the house I currently do, this is the craigslist ad

$200 / 110ft² - Community house room open--seeking awesomeness (Asheville) (map)

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Date: 2012-01-08, 8:30AM EST
Reply to: mailto:hous-qhqw9-2789162384@craigslist.org?subject=%24200%20%2F%20110ft%26sup2%3B%20-%20Community%20house%20room%20open--seeking%20awesomeness%20(Asheville)&body=%0A%0Ahttp%3A%2F%2Fasheville.craigslist.org%2Froo%2F2789162384.html%0A ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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We are a community house experimenting with and demonstrating sustainable living and community organizing.

The vision is to: 1. to create and share a model sustainable home, 2. to support community activists/organizers by offering an supportive and educational place to live, 3. and to use our house and property to host classes/presentations/skill shares, potlucks, meetings, films, a library, discussion circles, dances, etc.

This is an opportunity to live in an awesome community house, but also a chance to be a part of grassroots community organizing. We are seeking folks who are into this project, not folks who just want a cheap place to live.

The house features:
* a library available to the community
* a large bicycle rack
* wood stove for heat
* composting
* a verdant garden
* a clothesline and clothes washer
* a rainwater harvesting system for garden irrigation (1,000 gallons)
* natural building methods and reclaimed/scavenged building materials
* high speed internet and wireless
* the peaceful absence of a television

We are a community house with 6 residents. We have meetings about every 2-4 weeks.

There will be an application process since it is a community house. It is important that you be enthusiastic about and engaged in the house. It would be a plus to have skills and interests in community organizing, teaching and/or remodeling.

The rent would be $200. The rent is low because a) the house is still a bit rough around the edges and unfinished and b) we want to support local activists with lower living costs. There will be a month to month lease you will be asked to sign.

Other important stuff:
* Utilities shared (internet, power, gas, water, landfill, etc) comes to $20-30 a month per person
* Food preferences: organic, local, scavenged/reclaimed.
* We don't have central heat or air, so it runs a bit hot in summer and cold in winter. We have a wood stove and do our best to heat house with it We have fans but no A/C.
* Residents are expected to give at least one month notice before leaving.
* Drinking is okay but drunkenness is not, and getting stoned everyday ain't okay.
* Dogs and cats might be OK-- it really depends. Fleas in the yard are really bad here.

We are especially excited to support permaculture, intentional communities, unschoolers, freeskools, earth defenders, indigenous peoples, LGBTQ, natural building, herbalists, bicycle advocates, organic food growers, sustainability, ecovillages, independent media, worker-owned businesses, Green Party, nonviolent conflict resolution, antiglobalization/relocalization, local currencies, appropriate technology, mad scientists, animists/pagans, conscious music, open source, war resisters, etc etc.

Here are some projects (and their websites) that we are directly involved in.
* Freeskool Asheville http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=55734428124
* Open Umbrella Collective http://www.openumbrellacollective.yolasite.com/
* Sassafras Community Health Collective
* Grassroots Activist Guild http://www.grassrootsactivistguild.org/

Some cool quotes:

A different world cannot be built by indifferent people.
~ Horace Mann

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
~ Elbert Hubbard

If you have come to help me you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bout up with mine, then let us work together.
~ An Aboriginal Australian woman

If you would learn more, ask the cattle, seek information from the birds of the air, The creeping things of earth will give you lessons and the fishes of the sea will tell you all. Speak to the Earth and it will teach thee.
~ Job: 12, 7

Congress St at Gaston (google map) (yahoo map)

• Location: Asheville
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 2789162384

After my post yesterday we had a house meeting. It was awesome to see "real world" accountability. It was also interesting to almost compare maturity levels. One of my housemates was so emotional she had to choke back tears. Internship was hellish again as I suffered my way through four hours of plugging in more information.

Today I am going to the mayoral proclamation. I have no idea what it means, I just know I have to take pictures for it. The company database that I'm using has yet to call back over how to make mailing labels. Today was also the clubs/orgs fair. I met some people from the UNCA Alliance and hopefully I end up with a solid connection to their group. After this week, with the majority of the workload out of the way, the idea is to focus my efforts on the Facebook page and bullying within athletics.

I ended up missing the group meeting. I went on a run that included some really lame hill sprints. I'm joking myself if I think I'll be in shape for pre-season. I hate making excuses that I'm not working out but when you're walking to get everywhere it wears you out slowly.

I'm also sick of people taking up the entire kitchen. I just want to toast my damn leftovers and sit to eat but no, you keep felting your shawl at our table. There's a family dinner tonight and my terrible preparation led me to a tiny incident with a hatchet.Only a few drops of blood. The plan right now is to go on wild bus adventures on Tuesday to pick up my laundry. I tried to fill out some of my school paperwork so I wouldn't get super stressed about it when it's due tomorrow. Maybe being inside on a rainy day will be better or more productive.

What a much needed break from a computer. I woke up and willed myself to go for a short run. Then we took Riley to the dog park. We met Ely for burritos at Mamacittas after, took a nap, then we were off to Blake and Brenna's for thier house warming party. I decided then that I needed to hike in the Blue Ridge's at least once while I was down here, and its true cause I know I'd kick myself if I didn't . It was nice meeting people, playing poop smoothie (a regional game mix of taboo, sharades, and distinct facial expressions), and eating snacks. I know I need to step up my workouts though so I believe a workout at the middle school tomorrow is in order. Hopefully its still warm as its raining. My plan right now is to go to WNC Outright meeting Sunday, and pick up my laundry monday. If I can't think of something else than I can always get in later on tuesday. It kills me knowing I burn so much daylight sitting at that desk. At least school will be in session again and hopefully I'll meet more people. Until then, I have corn chips. [The story of Dance Instructor Dan is coming soon]

My morning started with an experiment, to see if the bus actually went past the stop at the time of day it was supposed, instead of sticking around an extra few minutes (it must have gone past before hand) I trucked it up to the transit station and like a champ left my bus pass at the house. $2 I wont see again for a pass that was already paid for, technically i still haven't lost any money out of it.

I arrived at UNCA at 9:15 and walked in to find the center's door closed again. The transfer student orientation was having a breakfast, which apparently I had missed the majority of. I was invited to have some food and to my surprise there was fruit (probably canned) , french toast, eggs with the ham cooked in, bacon, sausage, lame excuses for bagels, and quartered muffins. With fruit, bagel, and french toast on my plate i sat to eat alone at a table meant for 8 people. Three bites in a kid my age asked if he could join me. He was a nice kid, a returning student in no need of orientation who had also heard about the free food. I'm slightly ashamed to say that I eat like I will never have access to food again. His name was Ryan, from Virginia and I thoroughly enjoyed our breakfast date...that poor bastard.

I then spent the rest of my day working to input data into a non-profit program. For just over 60 recipients I was not thrilled to spend 4 hours with that task but I powered through it with the help of music from Pink, Nicki Minaj, and whomever else Lamar decided to play. For lunch I decided to go on a run and it was glorious. At 2 o'clock it felt nearly 60 degrees out and I  was thrilled to get up, to breathe hard, and keep my legs kicking. I decided to literally run to lunch, I got to Urban Burrito (it was good the first time), and turned to go back a different route. It was a little odd running with something in hand but it was a great day out and the last thing I wanted to do was go back to internship.

My last hour of internship was spent counting bookmarks.
To repeat that, I counted bookmarks, by my eye, to groups of 100. The labeling and rest of grunt work will not be saved for when I care but actually ASAP because I loathe bookmarks, especially when they dirty my white shirt, and make me stop working out earlier than I want to. But wait there's more...

Today was my experiment with the public transit system. I got up at 7:30, made a sandwich and found out that the rest of my cheddar had been used. Can I correctly use Commie Bastards? I took a banana and headed out. I got to the transit station 20 minutes later and waited for quite a bit because I was so early. I didn't mind being outside in the morning, it was fairly refreshing even if my nose was dripping. My rick for getting lung cancer shot up again as the majority of those looking to take the bus were smoking. For being such a fit city, I see the disparity in class and race quite a bit.
 I was productive today at internship even though I'm becoming slightly annoyed with the workload. It's taking a toll to motivate myself toward a cause in which I don't think its methods are hyper-effective. I'll do my work, and I'll do it well, but I wish they stayed in touch a little more with their audience. I talk to other people about their internships and they only have a few of the tasks I do. Since when was I a marketing expert, a web page handler, and manage for copy distribution? There's a lot of things that I can do that will boost my resume but getting the contact info for however many organizations is huge pain in my rump. AND I still have to fill out the work that my own school gave me.
  The bus ride home was nice and relaxing...until I felt nauseous thanks to the horrendous driving. I walked into 40 right as Tara was leaving to go to a birth. I decided I was going to cook up an omelet with hash browns. After burning my hand multiple times and i ate my meal. I'm getting sick of not having easy access to the kitchen i live in and no, I don't want the lamb heart or kidney. I'm getting frustrated but Rachel (theres another girl who shares the name) is pretty cool to talk to and we're discussing the gritty world of good tasting crappy food and "normal" toilet use. I'm gonna try to get more work done away from internship so that while I'm out of the house I can also spend less time at UNCA and the prime hours out running and moving around. I miss sweating when I exercise and I want that feeling back.

My alarm didn't go off. I had to be at UNCA by 9 and I woke at 8:40...5 minutes later I decided to call in just in case I was going to be late, and considering I had no ride and was 3 miles away, it was a good idea. I walked a good chunk and failed at hitching a ride. I put my thumb out and old women would just stare at me. Once I hit the main street a car at a stop light lowered her window, squinted, and asked if I wanted a ride. When I got in the car the women in her late-twenties/early-thirties said she thought I was someone else. We made small talk about Walden Pond as she drove me the short distance (short by car at least) to the university. I was 35 minutes late and I felt bad. I hadn't eaten anything, was pretty hungry and felt a headache coming on.  
    Discovering the wonders of the intern work room and the coffee maker was lovely. I had two cups spaced in a couple hours. The day wrapped up, I was exhausted and sick of looking at the damn computer screen. My advisor dropped me off at the transit station where I bought a month long bus pass for $10. I wanted jump and cheer since I finally had a mode of transport. I showed off my lovely piece of plastic by walking back to 40. I passed a gas station called "Hot Spot" where I realized a few things. My system of reward is off as I spent just over $3 on 2 peanut bars and a mucho mango. I also realized that I live in the projects. Not only do I live in a place where these artificial food items are super cheap, but I passed a kid in a full red sweatsuit. Congress Street is kind of gnarly as is but when you look at 40 compared to the rest of them it is the bittersweet eyesore. And I will be forever indebted to this place for the lessons I have learned so far.
    40 hosted a potluck tonight. I grabbed a scoop of potato based stew before the put the entire chopped lamb's liver into it. Someone brought this tasteless shrimp and there was a make-shift mashed potato bar. Its so hard to keep food hot here and I'm getting further annoyed with the amount of people I don't know who keep invading our kitchen. It's occupy 40 house. There's a super annoying four year old boy name Ameous whose exhausted mother is sipping her 40 oz beer and sick of her kid. Her current partner teaches primitive nutrition and is in a wheelchair. Aubrey left an hour ago and we pretended to care as we said goodbye. It's been a long day but I can't wait to get up early tomorrow make myself breakfast and catch the bus.

Yesterday I almost died, a few times. (now 2 days ago)

It started to snow and was probably 20 degrees out while I was riding a broken bike up hill on a very busy road, chain slipped and I almost tasted my toenails. I ended up walking that bike through town only to find 3 different closed bike stores. There's plenty more to tell, but that's a different story for a different post.

Recapping today. It was my first day at my internship and I'm so glad I get to do worth-while busy work. I've been assigned to No Name Calling Week and I'm essentially distributing and organizing an entire marketing plan for the schools and libraries in the county. We'll also be contacting places of worship and lord knows who else (super bad pun). I work in the main student organizational center, twice the size of the Callahan for those who understand that measure. Overall, I know that this internship relates to my interests but it's tough to combine such an odd almost overwhelming atmosphere of 40 house to the current mundane but work-heavy internship. It's a little serenity.

My advisor took me out to lunch to a local burrito place where I must have talked like an intern and eaten like a hobo (Just finished the book Hobo, its pretty good). I wanted to save my 10 leftover corn chips and fallen bean soldiers, kinda wish I had them now. I'm so thankful for the people down here. I wish I had enough time to prove to them that I would do the same as they are for me. A family of a mutual friend has welcomed me into their home and I am so grateful for the hot shower and opportunity to do laundry. The couch to escape the cold is the best out of those gifts though.

Good day, I'm gonna be walking a solid distance in the cold but I'll live.

The last day of December was interesting, I went with Tara for a few hours to her birth collective potluck. Imagine me in a room with some real "out there"  people, the majority were pregnant women. People there were nice and friendly though, they're interested in what I'm studying in school, even though it'd be so much easier to talk about sports, the lack of bagels, or how bad fast food is. Instead topics were on the birth cycle, hospital and state practices, and more things that I'm sure would peak my interest if I wasn't so disgusted by it - placenta.

After the potluck we went to Owen's house. I met a girl from Wisconsin who just had her Deering Goodtime shipped down to her so I finally got to play a little bit. I guess I'll consider and open back for the time being. I felt so blissfully American with my banjo, a few sips out of a can which may or may not have had an alcoholic beverage in it, and a bowl of vegetarian chili. Before we left, I traded a bead in my dreads for another. It's always weird to part with things, even in the purposes of an exchange, but I kind of miss that bead- it was old to me (Maybe 3 years), and had and intricate design, but not intricate enough that I'd give back this piece of amber.

For the remainder of 2011 Tara and I walked around downtown Asheville with Riley, the decided name of her shelter dog. I was glad to be on the same page as someone over the New Year celebration. We were just hungry and just looking for it to count down so we could hear some fireworks, since seeing was difficult, and go back to 40 to eat. Those were my festivities and hopefully things will turn around enough with this internship that the stresses will be worth the hassle.